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    July 06

    Warmth.

    In this critical moment flu virus,
    i was hugged and kissed on the cheeck few times today.
    I find it very warm especially for this usual cold body.
     
    I guess no one would risk to do that when i come back from Bangkok.
    A week of quarantine, i still wonder how will that feels like.
    Lonely? Boring? Restless?
    I wish to document every single day of me stuck in the same place for the entire week.
    Besides, pick up every pieces of me and put back to places.
    Most importantly, think where i need to aim and head to in the future.
     
    Just wanna say thanks for all the warmth touches.
    Even it was just a split second, i will always remember that.
     
    July 03

    .departures.

    a movie i wanted to watch since it was introduced in the newspapers.
    and today i finally get to watch it without prior planning.
     
    there were lots of thoughts about this movie.
    i always have alot to think when it comes to sentimental movie.
    many people wouldnt choose to watch this as some elders would avoid seeing 'funeral'.
    teenage would think this boring and dull.
     
    i guess this movie add in to a new perspective to what i see in death.
    it is not that scary as it seems.
    death is just another path of life, and the goodbye is not that different from any other farewell.
    death is not the end, is a new beginnning. 
     'we'll meet again'
     
    talking death is not negative thinking i perhaps, is just how you view it.
    i was touched so many moments.
    i am a sentimental person. i shall admit this.
    i weeped but on someone i can still smile with the next moment.
    i believe those are happy tears.
     
    thanks for the accompany.
    June 28

    smiles

    past will remain the past
    i think i have handle it quite well
    and i'll take it as a very important learning process
     
    i shall welcome smiles
    for those who love me, who care for me
    i have to live cheerfully.
     
    but most importantly is for me myself.
    is just an experience. nothing much more than that.
    like any sad movie in the cinema.
     
    to those who always make me laugh and smile.
    i really apperciate it and thanks alot.
     
    to those hope i will smile more,
    i will try my best.
     
     
    Open-mouthed 
     
    June 27

    buffet

    Greedy. Just one word to describe those who waste food in buffet line. 
    They are simply so unethical and selfish.

    Please treat food in respect, and also those people behind all those delicious food. 
    Think before you take and if you are not sure, take a smaller amount. 
    Think how many are starving without food.

    I truly hope those who are reading this doesnt waste food too.
    Eat based on your stomach capacity not your greediness level bar.

    it is a 'normal' phenonmenon in the society just like a simple flu, yet it could be severe one day like now.

    poverty lies on the greedy bed
    greedy mind dreams only oneself
    when sun will shine?
    vitally, when will us wake up from this dream?

    June 17

    Write something. update.

    is been sometime.
    say be to 1 semester.
    welcome work life once more.
     
    is still the same job,
    same pay and pace.
     
    somehow wanna find something more exciting
    but for the current situation,
    i guess extra income would be still the first priority
    realistic as it may sounds like but this is real life
     
    2 travel plans ahead. and more to come.
    i became travel bug.
    is just something i never get bored.
    and some even say i should be in the travel line.
    haha, ironic but true.
     
    a simple flashback of this sem
    it was a combination of happiness and experiences.
    stress attack were undeniable.
    i saw who was the angel and demon
    knew how to walk away from politics
    knew how to love more and hate less
    apperciate every precious moment i have and not ruined it with my emotions
     
    haha! but yet, i wish to spend more time with myself.
    Alone, just me and me.
     
     
     
    June 06

    两性之谈

    两性之谈还是良心之谈
     
    处于两个男性与两个女性之间
    左耳和右耳并肩
    犹如性格分裂
     
    不知好笑还是讽刺
    其实他们是两对夫妇
    同时在哭诉对方的烦恼和对另一半的不满
     
    我倒觉得很有趣
    他们的直接和坦白
    谈的话题都深入
    好像男性与女性杂志的活现版
     
    当然我会偏向妈妈的那一边
    比较容易参与
    说蛋糕,首饰,美容,家庭,孩子
    许多与我息息相关的内容
    但他们都很客观与批评
     
    而爸爸那一边,我也想提出意见
    相机行业的衰退
    对他们来说,相机只是一种买卖的产品
    我和他有着无形的立场对立
     
    不过身为年轻人,我都把它们全听进去
    无论是好的坏的, 它都可能在未来的道路上帮到我
     
    一个饭局
    一个食材
    苦瓜
    苦尽甘来
    只有吃过苦的人才会珍惜甜味的幸福
    June 05

    quite some time

    being stuck in this routine life
     
    is been quite some time,
    i pursue my passion,
    i really take a rest from everything,
    i leave the virtual world and step to the real one,
     
    numbly get over day by day,
    longing for the holidays
    but it will be another routine
     
    searching for what, i wonder once more
    money? happiness? sense of belonging? pride? success? relationship? dreams? passion ?
     
    May 31

    simple me

    i aint complicated
    i aint sophisicated
     
    simple things could easily make me happy
    simple moments could touch my heart
     
    my belongings reflect my simplicity
    not funky nor trendy
    i may be even boring in some sense
     
    my rule of thumb to my photos is also simple yet original
    my all time feelings that i long for is peace
     
    but i wish to accept the complex cultures of this world
    to make my life more than just plain black and white
     
    I wish to share my new exploration to every one around me
    I wish to blend into people's life and understand what is their life like
    I wish to smile to them even i dont know them
     
    A communication from a simple heart to a complex mind
     
    simple yet difficult in current context. but i will try.
     
    May 25

    Silence.

    there are so much thoughts.
    too much happenings which i learn to solve myself
    without them worry.
    or is it subconsciously, i fear my trust in them will be gone?
    so, i dont wish to expose myself
     
    sometimes i wish you could know me even without revealing
    and telling me everything will be fine.
    giving me full respect and understanding to what i wish to do.
    however everything seems ended in a piece of silence
     
    But, all this is just selfish me expecting alot from them
    or a lame answer to myself, the timing was not right.
     
    May 23

    Barter feelings

    To me, i felt feelings are like a barter trade.
     
    1 moment of happiness, requires more than 1 sorrows
    1 split of lucky, created by 1000 of unlucky try
    1 sense of belonging generates by unlimited of loniness
    1 understanding produced by infinity of misunderstood
     
    how many you give normally wont be how many you get.
    Some give more, some take more.
    is a circle.
     
    How much you trade today?  
     
    May 19

    This is a mean world.

    This is not from me though, but i find it very true.
     
    ''No matter how rational we are, how educated we are.
    We are just mean in someway.
    When we dont show love, people will say we are cold,
    When we show, people would think is too over or improper.''
     
    One should know what to joke and what not.
    If seeing suffer and sad is your intention, please reconsider with your tiny symphatical heart.
     
    It may be funny, it may entertain you for this very moment,
    but it creates an unknown impact to the person you make fun of
     
    I cant say i dont judge at all. And now i have to be very careful with words as they are so dangerous as the other party would deceive wrongly.
    I could sound serious or sensitive to some, but i just want to make my point clear.
    I dont expect the whole world to understand me, but please dont misunderstood me with your narrow mind.  
     
    Mean, but do leave 1 sense of respect to me.
     
    May 16

    Self protection

    Self protection
    This is normal and part of human nature.
     
    It was so unlucky that H1N1 infected patient was admitted to quarantine in Sg Buloh's hospital.
    It was more unlucky it spread to Malaysia already.
     
    I was suddenly so cautious with human contact and any possible bacteria transmittion
    I began to avoid subconciously
     
    I was being distanced away.
    She was so afraid of me, as if i have already been infected
    somehow even ask me to leave the place
    I dont blame you. Is human nature, you dont want to be infected.
     
    I dont afraid to die
    I dont afraid even i was the unlucky one
    and for sure i wont stay away if any of my love ones are infected.(touch wood it wont happen at all)
    cause i know this feeling very well even i was just having normal flu since young,
    mum will stay away from me, asking me not to go close to her
     
    I should be use to all this kind of situation and not be suprise about it
    i just felt so intimidated in some way and helpless
    May 15

    Traffic Jam

    I suppose many people would not like to stuck in a traffic jam
    however i was stucked in one today
     
    But i kind of enjoyed it.
    maybe i was very occupied texting people...
     
    Even end up made some random 'poems'
    Random thoughts, random inspirations, random joy
     
    Here is one of it,
    'Butterfly flies on buttercups,
    on top of butter, there's no butterfly but flies,
    Will fly flies to find butterflies in my stomach'
     
    Haaha, this sounds so kindergarden...but pretty like it...hoho!!!
    May 12

    Never again

    Mistakes are meant to be learn and not repeat
    I shall seriously give myself a serious lecture
    and a real reminder not to repeat this kind of mistakes
     
    They should not be happening
     
    But i will not spend time looking at my faults and blaming myself again and again
    I will change to prevent this happen once more
     
    This is a promise to myself.
    I shall not break this or let it become an empty one.
     
     
    May 11

    Simple Me.

    When depress leaves me
    When sadness runs away from me
    When anger rushes out of me
     
    When smiles fill in
    When laughters pump in
    When excitements zoom in
    When im me again
     
    Is simple
    Is original
    Is pure
    Is naive
     
    May 04

    咖啡

    咖啡,淡了,如何加浓都回不去
    味道变了,没得从来
     
    一杯爱尔兰咖啡
    也如此
    天时地理人和的机缘下才能
    泡出味道
     
    即时3合1咖啡
    铝罐装咖啡
    连锁咖啡店机器咖啡
    咖啡粉,自备热水和牛奶
    咖啡豆,亲手磨出的咖啡?
    还是犹如沙漏斗般的越南咖啡
     
    咖啡经沸腾的热水泡煮后
    气味色泽迷倒不少人
     
    却不再是我
    曾经对咖啡有着许多热爱
    带给我无数的欢乐
     
    现在都淡了
    也起了副作用
     
    就如人的感情
    淡了是很难从来
    就算从来,当初的味道也会随风而逝
     
    放下吧
     
    May 03

    Music man concert

    It was an awesome one.
    Many songs relate to many things and people around me
     
    I was thrilled he sang 'can you feel my world'
    somehow suprise i guess.
    a song that i felt most personal
     
    Ofcourse all songs were great
    expecially those we were so high till stand on the chair.
    Have not been so high and happy for quite some time
     
    Is like a huge karaoke session with full blast of music
    WOW! is the only word can describe to my feeling that moment
    His live is still so marvellous add on with a new concept to it
     
    This time i even call a friend to let her listen to 'live' concert feel of her favourite song
    It was pretty action packed but i still keep my promise
    Haha, hope you are happy with it and all my super craziness along the way...
     
    I saw moon. just like 2 years back
    remind me of many memories with you
    were you there last night, i wonder?
    when i look back to the back of the stadium, i somehow see us up there
    cheering for leehom
    Still remember i said i will sit down there for the next concert, i did it this time
     
    Anyways, it was a great night with superb accompany
    Thanks, Meng...sponsored me partially of the ticket as my birthday present
    and also thanks alot for her craziness with me to rock n roll together
     
    Truly had a awesome night!
    Leehom, great show and effort!!
    May 01

    I wonder

    I wonder has the world really gone sick?
    Yes it is.
    After an afternoon of serious talk about how kids act these days.
    i really felt very sorry that i am here doing nothing but expressing just a single thought or just a simple blog entry.
     
    For two of my old friends in the children and day care field,
    they are trying to save and help the future sick generation...
    It makes me wonder once more, is this our responsibility to all this mess?
     
    A 2 years old kid already know how to play tricks with adult's mind
    A 4 years old kid is full of foul words in his mouth
    A 6 years old kid is however having serious violence action issue.
     
    Tell me is this depressing? or is just normal to you?
     
    Blames go around to the teachers, child themselves, the parents or us, i ponder once more?
    I didnt comment much but my heart is aching at the same time
    sighing how little im doing to help.
     
    The pasion i am pursuing is just another selfish act that might sacrifice the future ones
    Somehow i need war, disasters and everyday events to happen while i do the capturing or reporting and survive from it
    But does all these images do a single tiny difference? worst things are happening still
    Or even the 'positive' ones could be a lie
    I wish there will be no war, no religion, no race like John Lennon once sang
    but it's just too idealistic and it wont happen.
     
    What's wrong with the world?
    Is there anymore thing i can hold on to?
     
    To my friends who are pursuing for children education, i do really support and salute
    At least, that is not a selfish dream like mine.
    You said it right, you are doing for the future.
    April 29

    Subconcious

    The kid Jun was very dominant recently.
    You said it very true.
    I always long for a better childhood
    someone to play with
    just being childish
    and most importantly
    be who i m and happy for it
    no social judgement what so ever
     
    I maybe cheeky even in the matured me
    but this time was more than just cheeky
    is the whole kid Jun appear in real life
     
    similar to the devil vs angel kind of battle
    who will win?
    who will have to pay the price?
    or i will strike a balance?
     
    Haha, im subconsiously a 3 years old kid
    April 26

    Perfume talk

    For anyone who know me well enough will know im 'anti-perfume'
    I have a sensitive senses so to say...
    Or maybe im a blind person in my past life,
    which leaves a me a pair of alert ears and doggy nose
     
    i was talking perfume for the first time.
    it was a special smell and i start to accept it at least
    but i cant smell it long though
     
    this artificial smell could drown me to dizziness
    but even real flowers' smell could cause that.
    and i found out this artificial smell is quite pricey 
     
    some says i lost half of my life by not having this 2 great elements in life.
    some says it is just a matter of preference, no big deal
     
    I apperciate those who dont/wear less perfume while hanging out with me
    is a sense of respect
    For those who wear mild ones and not spray in front of me, i respect that too
    and for those who prefer strong ones, i learn to respect and tolerate too.